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CHRISTMAS CHEESE DOUBLE FEATURE: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) + We Wish You a Turtle Christmas (1994) w/ B-Movie Bingo

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CHRISTMAS CHEESE DOUBLE FEATURE: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) + We Wish You a Turtle Christmas (1994) w/ B-Movie Bingo

December 23, 2023 : 1:00 pm 3:00 pm

Watch two of the cheesiest Christmas movies of all time and win prizes by playing B-Movie Bingo!

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Commonly considered one of the worst movies of all time, SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS was made famous by Mystery Science Theater 3000, but its sheer insanity (and inanity) deserves to be savored without the interference of wisecracking robots. Alien invaders kidnap everyone’s favorite right jolly old elf in this low-budget mixture of children’s comedy and sci-fi adventure, but things don’t go according to the aliens’ plans. Shot on a shoestring budget on Long Island, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has rightfully developed a rabid cult following over the years.

We Wish You a Turtle Christmas

Released direct-to-video in October 1994, WE WISH YOU A TURTLE CHRISTMAS is a surreally awful Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Christmas special that’s sure to make your jaw drop. It’s Christmas Eve and the Ninja Turtles have accidentally forgotten to get Splinter a gift. The Turtles argue about who was supposed to get the gift. Unfortunately, the stores are closing so they don’t have much time. The Turtles go above the surface, apparently undisguised, and decorate a tree in Times Square. Michelangelo, strangely, sings some opera much to the others’ annoyance. For anyone who thought the Star Wars Holiday Special was as bafflingly bad as franchise-based Christmas cash-ins could possibly get, the 25 minutes of jaw-dropping idiocy that is We Wish You a Turtle Christmas will reveal uncanny depths you never thought possible.

THEATER POLICIES

All seats are first-come, first-served.

The theater opens 30 minutes prior to showtime, except for “Happy Hour” events and pre-shows when the theater opens at the listed start time.

All ages are welcome at Arkadin except for Drinkolas Cage events, which are restricted to 21+. We follow the MPAA rating guidelines for all other films.

Tickets can be purchased using the BUY TICKETS link above. Upon ordering, you will receive a confirmation email from Square. Tickets may also be purchased on the day of the show at the concession counter.

If you’ve purchased advance tickets, when you arrive, please give your name at the concession counter to check in.

Tickets are returnable by sending a request through the contact form located on our About Us page prior to showtime.

When an event is sold out, we reserve the right to release open seats to customers on the waitlist. If you have a pre-purchased ticket and arrive late and there is no seat for you, your ticket will be refunded.

All screenings are held in our indoor theater unless indicated otherwise in the event description above.

Please respect your fellow movie-goers by remaining quiet and refraining from using your cell phone throughout the screening.